Letting go of a relationship can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life. Hopefully you knew it was coming and didn’t get blindsided by it. If you did know it was coming then letting go will be a little easier. If you were blindsided then right now you feel as if you were hit by a Mack truck, twice.
You are hurt, you are angry and now you have questions. How could I not see this coming? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Why are you doing this? Unfortunately, these are questions that may never get answered. And if they do get answered you might not like what you hear so maybe it’s best if they stay unanswered.
Dealing with the end of a relationship is much like dealing with a death in the family. There is a grieving process you must go through when letting go of a relationship, especially if it was a long-term relationship spanning several years. You might consider a counselor, support group or both to help advise you along the grieving journey. Ask for referrals from family or friends and keep them close for moral support, your church pastor will give you spiritual guidance, or just pick a counselor out of the yellow pages if you want to keep things private and not air your ‘dirty laundry’ so to speak.
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Sometimes the pain you feel is so intense you don’t think you can handle it so you push it down and deny your feelings. Then one day you cannot hold them in any longer and all those feelings come out as anger. Anger at the one who broke off the relationship or even anger at yourself for letting yourself get blindsided. When the anger subsides you may start to feel some guilt because you got so angry and maybe said or did something you now regret. To try to get relief from the emotional pain you may attempt to bargain with your higher power. Then all of a sudden one day you wake up and the sun is shining and you find yourself able to accept your new life and smile again for the first time in a long time.
When you finally learn to accept your fate then you can start to put the pieces of your life back together. Life does go on. Take each day as it comes and realize you had the strength to get through a tough situation. Be proud of yourself. Take some time to find out who you are and don’t jump right back into another relationship right away. Enjoy your new found freedom, take up a new hobby or learn a new skill. Just be who you are for a while, not who someone else thinks you should be. Be as kind to yourself as you can be and you may find that letting go of that relationship was the best thing for you.